Don’t lament the results you didn’t get from the work you didn’t do. There is no glory here, it’s a type of war you have to wage with yourself, alone in the backstreets of your exhausted mind and body.
War isn’t pretty, there’s no Hollywood in it, just blood and guts, and in this case it’s only yours that you will be required to spill.
No one will tell you this, but it’s not your blood and guts that carries you through this, it’s your soul. When all the mind's stories are stripped away, and you are naked with the rawness of it.
When the process pushes your mind to a point where you are no longer conquered by your own ideas.
The soul is felt when all the lies we tell ourselves have left the building. Utterly resilient, unmovable and safe. Uninterested in outcomes, it embeds itself through the pure presence of your own state of being that stays right here in the Maelstrom of this war.
War is not the course, the other competitors, the difficulty, or even the pain and discomfort. It’s the level of control that your own resistant mind brings with it and the projected expectation of what it should look like.
Many don’t get to the flow level that soul brings with it because they can’t give up the stories, the projections, the ideas and the concepts.
So the work is not just about the physicality of it. It’s a practice of letting it be the way it is and meeting the rawness of the process with the rawness of your own presence.
You can’t be present while you entertain the past, the future, and the projections your mind is tangled in.
The further you go into your head with the process, the further away from flow you get.
When the rawness of your own soul's presence meets the rawness of the course and the process, you will meet speed, power and flow.
Gilesy